Managing Ego in Leadership

When I first became a manager, there was a tension inside me that I couldn’t quite name. I knew my responsibilities, but I wasn’t always aware of the intentions behind my actions. Why was I quick to spot flaws when someone offered an idea? Why did I feel a slight discomfort when someone else’s success was highlighted? These were feelings I kept to myself, but they weighed on me. Over time, I realized that they weren’t stemming from a lack of technical knowledge — they were coming from an unmanaged ego.

This awareness didn’t come overnight. It developed through observation, struggle, and a lot of introspection. Ego rarely shouts; it often guides silently. Sometimes, what seemed like a well-intentioned decision, or an inclusive approach, was subtly driven by my own need for power, validation, or control. And recognizing this, let alone managing it, wasn’t easy.

Today, I’m in my seventh year of leadership. I now see myself as someone who prefers horizontal relationships, organizes work collectively with the team, and isn’t afraid to share responsibility. It might sound idealistic, but in truth, this leadership style is rooted in deep trust — both in myself and in my colleagues. And every day, I see more clearly that this is an incredibly powerful way to lead.

But it hasn’t always been easy. In Turkey, especially in professional environments, such an approach is often perceived as a weakness. In settings where hierarchy is strong, a manager who opens space for others, invites alternative ideas, and shares decision-making power can easily be misunderstood. Early in my career, there were even times when this openness was exploited. When sharing authority led to disrespect, the fragile balance quickly broke. In those moments, I sometimes felt the urge to revert to the “old-school” manager style: becoming stricter, drawing firm lines, asserting authority. But I know that giving in to that reflex would pull me away from the kind of leader I truly want to be.

I usually try to overcome these tensions by talking openly with my team. I explain why I build horizontal relationships, why their ideas matter, and why I prefer to lead collectively. And while explaining it to them, I also remind myself — why I choose to be this kind of leader.

The ego is still there. It doesn’t disappear. But now I recognize it. I can sense when it’s trying to speak, trying to steer me off course. Sometimes I still get triggered, sometimes I still become defensive. But at least now, I can see what’s behind those reactions. And in leadership, I believe that’s the most crucial threshold: knowing and managing yourself.

Because leadership is not just about managing work.

It’s about creating space, building trust, and growing together.

Choosing to be a leader who draws strength not from their voice, but from the space they open for others.

Yöneticilikte Egoyu Yönetmek - Gökhan Korkmaz